Monday, April 01, 2013

This Too Shall Pass

It’s funny how different people react to the same situations in life. Being stressed is one thing, but trying to offload your stress on someone else to make yourself feel better is another matter altogether. Yes, life is not a bed of roses and there are decisions to be made. People may disagree with you and you will have your fair share of being ignored or forgotten, but that’s just a small part of life. It’s not what happens to you that make you who you are. It is how you react to what happens to you that determines who you are. Life in itself is a learning process and it is one that will never end; a never ending lesson. It just depends on how teachable we are willing to be. The more willing we are the faster the ‘lesson’ and ‘pain’ will pass.

When (the going in) life gets tough, it is nice to have a listening ear, but what happens if there is no one on standby for you? Would you wallow in self-pity, leaving yourself to dismay and despair? Well, you could. It is always easy to start blaming people and the circumstances around you. It is also very easy and takes no effort at all in trying to ‘guilt’ people who lend you a listening ear to pity you or take your side in a (possible) attempt to isolate them together with you (because of your insecurities). It does, however, take effort (and grace) to ignore the negatives and focus on the positives instead, thinking your way out of that slump. After all, the more you think badly of a situation, the worse it will seem to be than it originally was.

For instance, when you meet a new group people, they will be nice and cordial to you (initially), asking after you occasional and inviting you to hang out. But if you constantly rebuff them (because you think you cannot get along with them based on first impressions) invitations will cease (since this is supposed to be reciprocal). It takes some ‘effort’ to ask and be asked, that’s how most (if not all) friendships begin, right?

So when people stop asking and invitations cease, there will be some who actually feel ‘left out’ and ‘abandoned’. However, they never stop once to think that they hardly reciprocated by asking after the other person or even making the effort to get a phone number or two and sending occasional messages. Everyone is busy – with work, school, studies, family etc… - so it’s not really an excuse; it takes some effort if you want to be friends with someone (especially new friends). Being sensitive could be a good thing for other things, but being sensitive in these scenarios is not beneficial (for the mind a least, especially those with a vivid imagination).

There are many types of people in this world that we live in, in particular those who are outgoing and/or nice (doing what they say they will and being there for you when they can), yet there are also those who are outgoing and want to be caring (or appear to be) but fall short (by making empty promises and leaving you stranded in the worst way possible at the end). But that is what makes each of us unique and even if such people exist (in any group of friends), it is always good to be aware of the possible situations that may arise and take necessary precautions (e.g. being prepared to make your own way to/back from a venue you have never been to before, make arrangements with some other people to go together, or decline going out with them altogether and find another group you are comfortable with). Even if we are unaware of any such situations, we should not let these experiences get to us and prevent us from getting to know more people; broadening our horizons (unless you want to live a narrow boring life).

In spite of everything, life with all its ups and downs is something we should relish, especially if we have been the best we can be (or tried to be) and done the best we could to live life to the fullest, what is there to regret? Since time can never be turned back, regrets should not be about wishing what could/should have been, but should be viewed as events in our lives that have made us realize what better things are to come because of the decisions we made (or the lack thereof). No point crying over spilled milk, just get yourself a fresher better tasting glass of milk.

No matter what happens (good or bad), life still goes on so it is up to us to determine how we want this life to be (though with grace it is really so much easier ^^):
  1. Be the change you want to be, contented, happy and stress-free. OR
  2. Be constantly stressed and unhappy over matters like money (because it’s never enough and you’d always want more anyways) and insecure of people that are better than you (plenty of them out there) wanting to be better than them all

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