This Too Shall Pass

It’s funny how different people react to the same situations in life. Being stressed is one thing, but trying to offload your stress on someone else to make yourself feel better is another matter altogether. Yes, life is not a bed of roses and there are decisions to be made. People may disagree with you and you will have your fair share of being ignored or forgotten, but that’s just a small part of life. It’s not what happens to you that make you who you are. It is how you react to what happens to you that determines who you are. Life in itself is a learning process and it is one that will never end; a never ending lesson. It just depends on how teachable we are willing to be. The more willing we are the faster the ‘lesson’ and ‘pain’ will pass.

When (the going in) life gets tough, it is nice to have a listening ear, but what happens if there is no one on standby for you? Would you wallow in self-pity, leaving yourself to dismay and despair? Well, you could. It is always easy to start blaming people and the circumstances around you. It is also very easy and takes no effort at all in trying to ‘guilt’ people who lend you a listening ear to pity you or take your side in a (possible) attempt to isolate them together with you (because of your insecurities). It does, however, take effort (and grace) to ignore the negatives and focus on the positives instead, thinking your way out of that slump. After all, the more you think badly of a situation, the worse it will seem to be than it originally was.

For instance, when you meet a new group people, they will be nice and cordial to you (initially), asking after you occasional and inviting you to hang out. But if you constantly rebuff them (because you think you cannot get along with them based on first impressions) invitations will cease (since this is supposed to be reciprocal). It takes some ‘effort’ to ask and be asked, that’s how most (if not all) friendships begin, right?

So when people stop asking and invitations cease, there will be some who actually feel ‘left out’ and ‘abandoned’. However, they never stop once to think that they hardly reciprocated by asking after the other person or even making the effort to get a phone number or two and sending occasional messages. Everyone is busy – with work, school, studies, family etc… - so it’s not really an excuse; it takes some effort if you want to be friends with someone (especially new friends). Being sensitive could be a good thing for other things, but being sensitive in these scenarios is not beneficial (for the mind a least, especially those with a vivid imagination).

There are many types of people in this world that we live in, in particular those who are outgoing and/or nice (doing what they say they will and being there for you when they can), yet there are also those who are outgoing and want to be caring (or appear to be) but fall short (by making empty promises and leaving you stranded in the worst way possible at the end). But that is what makes each of us unique and even if such people exist (in any group of friends), it is always good to be aware of the possible situations that may arise and take necessary precautions (e.g. being prepared to make your own way to/back from a venue you have never been to before, make arrangements with some other people to go together, or decline going out with them altogether and find another group you are comfortable with). Even if we are unaware of any such situations, we should not let these experiences get to us and prevent us from getting to know more people; broadening our horizons (unless you want to live a narrow boring life).

In spite of everything, life with all its ups and downs is something we should relish, especially if we have been the best we can be (or tried to be) and done the best we could to live life to the fullest, what is there to regret? Since time can never be turned back, regrets should not be about wishing what could/should have been, but should be viewed as events in our lives that have made us realize what better things are to come because of the decisions we made (or the lack thereof). No point crying over spilled milk, just get yourself a fresher better tasting glass of milk.

No matter what happens (good or bad), life still goes on so it is up to us to determine how we want this life to be (though with grace it is really so much easier ^^):

1. Be the change you want to be, contented, happy and stress-free. OR
2. Be constantly stressed and unhappy over matters like money (because it’s never enough and you’d always want more anyways) and insecure of people that are better than you (plenty of them out there) wanting to be better than them all

Growing Up

There a many types of people in this universe, and it takes a certain amount of effort and fate or destiny (which ever you prefer) to be good friends with someone. Some people that we meet become life-long friends, while others just naturally fade away into oblivion. Through friendships we mature and grow, and hopefully become a better person through our experiences and friendship. There are friends that you can learn from, there are friends that learn from you, and there are friends that are sometimes a little bit of both.

However, despite the nicety of such an ideal, there are times when you have to pull away from friends who are taking advantage of you and start to make you tired: friends who only know how to take from you almost all the time and have to be reminded (verbally) to occasionally reciprocate, only always wanting to be encouraged and having a naïve (one-sided) viewpoint on the world. Just as with any relationship, friendship is not one-sided and it is always the small things that matter most when push comes to shove; it takes effort on both ends.

When a friend is too engrossed in his or her own world and every conversation ends up being about their problems at work and their ‘little’ world”, always asking for advice but never really listening or taking a really long time to learn the lesson, it makes you feel like a broken record having to repeat yourself. The icing on the cake would be that said friend is only interested in what goes on in his/her own world, complaining on and on about how they were bullied at work or who they like, so much so that you start to get tired. If fatigue sets in then perhaps it is time to take a break from such a person or the relationship will start to sour with resentment. Taking a break is a sign that you still treasure that friendship.

It does not help much if said friend decides to sponge on you almost every time you go out together to have a meal or whatnot, always wanting to pick the most expensive item on the menu and hardly a word of thanks when payment is made or even the initiative to offer to pay their share. It might not be the case that the friend intentional wants to take advantage of such a situation, but it is a sad fact that said friend takes it for granted. When and if asked, said friend would gladly pay for the meal, but when left unsaid that friend would conveniently “forget” about paying for, let alone offer to pay their share.

It is fine when we were younger and in school, but surely there has to be a certain sense of self-awareness or any sort of awareness when we start working and are in the ‘real’ world. Everyone has their phases in life, but ultimately isn’t it a goal for us to live, to learn and to grow from learning?

Long wait at the Hospital

Accompanying my mother to Changi General Hospital clinic S for her eye checkup/followup is proving to be a tiring affair. We have been at the hospital since 3pm and we are still waiting. In fact quite a few were also still waiting. Only after voicing out that they have waited for nearly 3 hours, are they granted their consultations.

What I do not understand is why does the clinic use a system that issues number queue tickets but does not display them in the order that they are received. Names seem to be just called at random. Seriously why even bother incorporating any type of system?

If we are supposed to wait for so long why bother with a number system at all. It is either the person that programs the system that is at fault or the incompetent people using the system that are fault. Aren't systems that are automated supposed to ease the whole process and make it more efficient?

A little off-point, but this is one of the reasons I would rather go to a private GP than the polyclinic. Though it is more expensive, somehow the waiting time is much shorter.

Ok so hospitals are busy and they have to deal with many patients in a day, or they may be short-handed. Then isn't it precisely that that a system and process are in place to make it more effective and efficient? Processes have a need to be constantly improving, as with the changing times. Accommodations should be made to make patients comfortable and prepared for the long wait. Just because they are "patients" doesn't mean they have to have an unending amount of "patience". So why does it seems like we are going backwards.

Well if you are ever at the hospital or polyclinic in Singapore for anything, be prepared to waste your precious time, one way or the other. The majority of the doctors and nurses are nice, which makes the whole experience better, like by 40% only. The long waiting time minuses almost all of the remaining points.

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Issue Resolved

So the issue with the UniSIM site seems to be resolved already... after about a week or s. And even than the method of delivering (admitting that the site was attacked) was in a peculiar way. It's a scrollling marquee across the top saying " Important Notice" and you can download the file only when you click on the moving text... which is so... not user friendly.... -_-"

UNISIM has left me speechless

Trying to log into the school's portal for the past 1 week, and what I and many others (as I googled) discovered that it appeared to either be hacked in someway or the other.

Using FireFox to get to the website and this appears:












While a Google search displays:













Among many others. Just try search terms like “unisim attack site”, “unisim firefox problem”, etc... and you'll get loads of interesting serach results... Not so helpful when you have notes to download and assignments to handup. The school did not even bother to inform the students of what is happening!

The school finally sent an email today saying:

IT dept has resolved the issue. Please use Microsoft Internet Explorer & access www.unisim.edu.sg directly.

However, as to most of the forum posts, have noted that while you will be able to access the site using Internet Explorer, their AVs (Avira, NOD32, among others) detected a virus on the site... which leaves me somewhat baffled... if it's really safe..

So what works:
IE
Safari

What doesn't:
FF

Just Because....

Just because you pay a few bills, you think you're the king of the world
Just because you've lived a couple more years more, you think that all your choices and decisions are correct
There is no wrong in your world, as long as it is by your rules
You think you are right
Only you

There is only your reasoning
No room for others, just because you think so
Other people's reasoning is all wrong to you
They never make sense
Just because you want it your way

Just because you want everyone to bid your doing
Else you'll threaten them emotionally
Just because you think you're right
Just because you want things done your way and your way alone
All other ways are nonsense to you
No way but your way

Too bad I don't want to live by your rules anymore
They make no sense
Just because sometimes I really want to say...
Why can't you hear what I have to say?
It's my life, my space
Not yours
You're just part of the process... that's all

Life still goes on

Chances have to be given to people who realize that they want to improve something in their lives and that it is never too late. Chances shouldn't be solely limited to second chances deemed by the people around. Giving yourself a chance means, disregarding the options of what the people around think. After all, the options of other people are only useful if there are constructive; that goes for criticism as well.

Even if a person has fallen, and chance(s) have been given, yet that individual still falls. Chances should still be given as long as the person is willing to change. No one is perfect and it is never to late to change. What if life worth living for if everyone seems to be so perfect?

Being perfect is only a condition and limitation, a perception set by society. There are always, and will always be people who never seem to quite fit the image of "perfect" or at least what this world think as "normal". But that does not mean that those who are not confined by this perception are not perfect.

Each individual is different, in the way they think right down to the way they do things. So why is so often that other people try to impose and force their idea of what is right onto people? That's life... Its not what or how other perceive us, but how we perceive ourselves and make the change from there...

Monsoon Season

Monsoon season - that time of the year when the weather gets cold and wet. According to NEA it is now:

• North-East Monsoon Season - December to early March
• Northeast winds prevail, sometimes reaching 20 km/h. Cloudy conditions in December and January with frequent afternoon showers. Spells of widespread moderate to heavy rain might occur lasting from 1 to 3 days at a stretch. Relatively drier in February till early March. Also generally windy with wind speeds sometimes reaching 30 to 40 km/h in the months of January and February.
  

It can get as low (as it can get for an island near the equator) as 23°C to as high as 34°C; all within one day. I used to think that the rainy season was around October to December, but apparently I seem to have forgotten that it hasn't ended yet. >_<

unreasonable ones

Irresponsible dog owners, a pretty sad fact if you ask me. What I can't stand are those people who buy a dog on a whim and then decide to abandon it because they realize that they cannot cope. In the first place, don't buy if you know you can't do it. And second, just because you can't does that mean you can just abandon a living creature. What is more irritating is that one such person is one that I know. Is that even justified?

Just because you can't handle the innocent dog, you also refuse to allow anyone to help you. You assume that since you can't handle it, that equates to no one else in the family can. It's just better if its given away. Everything is done to your whim and fancy. You fear the unkown, knowing full well of the risks you had to take and yet you went ahead. You alone call the shots, you assume people actually understand you. And now you get cold feet.

You 'decide' what's best even when it's not, you never listen to other people's opinion, never considering their feelings, only yours. So please don't blame me if I appear to be heartless. I really couldn't care less. You and your particularities, you and your unreasonable ways.

Now just because you feel 'tired', you want to give up. Do you listen to people's suggestion? No. You only want your own solution, but yet you never take action. And if others do not take action first, you will do something drastic.

we learn we live we grow

Ever had one of those days where everything just had to go wrong? Just when things were going well or should have been, and then something even bigger comes along and disrupts the momentum. Imagine "happily" starting school: doing projects, essays and preparing for exams. A new year, new school, new friends and you're finally almost on the way to get that costly piece of paper that would supposedly get you a better job and pay.


Then, suddenly midway through the first semester the big news arrives, the university you're attending is closing down due to insufficient funds (due to over budgeting on marketing - so they claim) and the fact that the intake for the second semester was below expectation. Which does not make sense as it really wasn’t that publicized... or was it? So in order to cut losses, the top management decided it wasn't worth the investment and it was best they abandoned the project before they incurred even more losses.

And only after mentioning the fact that the school was going to close down did they assure all students not to worry as they would be offered a place in the main campus, as long as exams were taken and the offer accepted. For those that did not want or could not go over, there would be alternatives. These so called alternatives really meant, "You're on your own if you can't make the mark. Please find other routes that would be more appropriate for you".

Being one of the few 'fortunate' people that such a thing should happen to is really an interesting event to happen in life so to say, but I'd rather it happen only once. True, students were devastated, parents were angered and staff were disorientated. But life goes on... Two months after the debacle life seems to be going on well, for those who have decided to go over and those who decided to stay. .. Just not in the way we expected it to be.

As for me, I decided to take a step back and just go to work while thinking things through again... It is an "interesting" event to happen life I only wish would have never happened, and an expensive "experience" too. Even though things turned out the way they did, at least it happened sooner than later. Or so I'd like to think so. And so a new journey begins....